jekyll and hyde

I have two faces lately. I am either happily running and lifting weights, pitching stories to magazines, chatting on the phone with friends and thinking about what sort of a dinner party I would like to throw... or I am hunched over sobbing, feeling terribly desolate and bitterly angry at every slight and jab I get from my cold-hearted family or self-involved co-workers. In the latter mode, nothing seems to calm other than being alone.

This is not good.

I want more balance. I want a more even-handed time of it. I want patience.

Am I asking too much?